brother journey-new bunk beds

'the rule of siblings: if your sibling gets something you want,  you 1) try to take it 2) break it or 3) say it's no good' -patricia fleming 

that quote couldn't be any truer for my boys. every day they quarrel; one wants what the other has, one wants to sit right here where the other is sitting, he wants to do this and he wants to do that, 'he hit me!', 'mine!'... and oliver sure does try to be a little trickster from time to time with situations involving brother (all the while, joseph is too busy not caring while he tries to bite oliver's fingers off). it's hard for them to get space from one another because they share a room and we don't have a play room. and when one is in the living room playing, the other wants to be involved (which drives me nuts because they usually end up fighting and i'm like 'then why do you even want to hang out with him???'). but when you put all of that aside and look at their relationship-which is growing more and more every day-you see two small boys who love each other fiercely (because lets face it; boys are fierce with everything, including loving a sibling), and that makes my heart explode.

when my brother and i were little we had the best time together. of course we fought, and a lot of the time that's what i remember most, but at the end of the day he was my best friend. we also shared a room. when he was out of the crib my parents got us a day bed with trundle; i slept on the top and he slept on the trundle. most nights we just pulled the bed out for him, but sometimes we wanted to have a 'sleepover' and would pop that trundle up to be next to mine. we would read stories with the flashlight and just talk about anything and everything and nothing at all. albeit a distant memory, that time with my brother was really special. and sharing a room with him created a special bond in us that i'll never forget, in addition to the safety we both felt because we were together.

i don't quite know how my mom did it, but when we transitioned joseph into the room with oliver, i was terrified. a few times it was quite difficult because oliver is a loud sleeper and he was also having night terrors at the time, so joseph would wake up here and there. then there was the issue with joseph's bnb knocking on the side of his crib causing oliver to stir. so as much as we loved them having a shared space, bedtime became something we dreaded. but as soon as bry left to live with her dad her junior year, we immediately moved oliver into her bed for sleep. while that eliminated the complication of them not getting much sleep because one or the other was being disruptive, it did create a whole new issue of separate bedtime routines, which became a hassle that seemed to drag the night on. fed up and at my wits end with this crazy nighttime routine, we bit the bullet and purchased a bunk bed for them. i was really nervous about what might happen when we put oliver back into their room at night; how joseph might react, or maybe he wouldn't get any sleep, or oliver would start to have night terrors again. but at the same time i was so excited to have them sleep in the same room and have them get ready for bed together.

i got them a stay in bed clock to help them know when it's bedtime and to stay in bed, and when it's time to get out of bed. we were hoping it would help the boys with the transition and also help my husband out so he wouldn't have to keep getting out of bed too early with them (anyone have kids who wake up before 7am???). once everything arrived, we got the beds set up, mattress on, bedding all set and clock in place. we let the boys know that there would be a new bedtime routine now: bath, jammies, brush teeth, then story time in their room before hugs & kisses & lights out.

you guys. if you do not have your children share a room you need to start doing it now. 

the boys have slept in until 7:18am every morning, go to bed without a fuss, stay in bed, sleep through the night; i mean, it couldn't have worked out better!

one night i was out in the living room folding laundry watching new girl and i heard the boys talking to each other, then a ton of giggling. i was thinking, 'oh no, here we go...' and i got up and started down the hallway. just as i was about to open the door and tell them to shush, i remembered the nights that my brother and i shared together and all the laughing and whispering and reading we did; it was such a special time for us. so i decided to sit on the floor outside their door and listen to them be brothers and it was so heartwarming. i just wept at the beauty of my two boys and the special bond that they will forever have. then i heard oliver say, 'baby, it's time to be quiet now and go to sleep. goodnight.... i love you....'

and if you've ever experienced something like that, you know that you will forever be picking up heart pieces off the floor.

(p.s. because this is real life, joseph is actually crying and screaming at oliver in this photo because he wants to climb up the ladder. but isn't it beautiful??)